premarital insertion


the process of inserting a p-n-s into a v-g-n- by mode of muscle contractions of the hip and pelvis between two unwed partners. premarital insertion is usually but not necessarily accompanied by thrusting, premarital s-x, and even rape.

to say that premarital insertion is s-x would be to say that zombies and vampires are the same ent-ty. despite their “undead” quality, an intense desire for human flesh, and a heightened propensity for halitosis, these things do not necessitate that zombies are vampires are the same thing.

likewise, premarital insertion can be just as unpleasurable and unfulfilling as the star wars prequels, unlike s-x.

premarital insertion is the slide into “fourth base” (a.k.a. a home run or f-cking) without actually scoring.

a good premarital insertion -n-lgous to that of hitler’s blitzkrieg and the insertion of foreign troops can often induce a powerful union between two opposing powers such as that of the soviets and the americans or even a union of a man and a woman.

so… get married and have s-x already!
jonny: premarital insertion could be rape, but it’s not a sin.
suzy: really?
jonny: yeah.
suzy: i’m still pressing chrages, you rapist!

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