progressive

a term that former liberals co-opted when they discovered that their delusional beliefs didn’t fit any recognized definition of the word liberal.

these fools are frequently self-loathing, unsuccessful losers who can only feel better by projecting their failures onto their opponents.

a “progressive” is identified by the following behaviors/beliefs:

– knows what is best for everybody else
– claims to be well-informed even though they get their news/talking points from the daily kos and/or msnbc

– believes that personal wealth is evil yrt they fawn over wealthy celebrities and limousine liberals

– believes corporations and profit are evil, and will tweet about this 24/7 on their fancy ipad

– thinks name-calling and demonizing opponents is the same as debate

– accuses every person with a dissenting view of being a racist

– supported occupy wall street from the comfort of their living room, not the rape tent

– drives a prius with a coexist b-mper sticker
– believes in the rights of everyone, except those who disagree

– thinks the const-tution is flawed because they can’t control all 3 branches of government

– believes your success could only have come at their expense

– believes al gore is right about global warming, even though his carbon footprint 100x of the average person

– thinks voter identification is racist, because it discriminates against dead people
conservative: i believe in personal responsibility and smaller government

progressive: you racist hate-monger

conservative: you said you believed in equal rights for everybody

progressive: racist! you should die!
1)an epitaph for a radical-liberal or socialist.

2)someone whose pneumatic demagoguery tends to cloud their judgment.

3)someone who makes acyrologia of the words “logic” and “science.”

4)someone who believes all scandinavian propaganda on how great socialism is, yet fails to realize how authoritarian things have become there.

5)people who ignore the +100 million who have died under socialist rule.

6)people who protest the killing and eating of animals while they vacuum out a human fetus from their/their girlfriends uterus.

7)have lived off their parents until their late 20’s early 30’s.

8)someone who thinks the government can fix everything by forcing people to be good at gun point.

9)a plague of dogmatism.
“those n-z-s’ sure were progressive.”

“starving russian mothers eating their dead children? doesn’t get more progressive than that!”
n. one who advocates greater government regulation of just about anything. progressives claim to want to help out the average joe but really want everyone to live according to their politically correct, elitist socialist agenda. progressives are also much nastier people than liberals, and are often hypocrites
if you claim to be such a progressive, then why do you send your kids to a private school?
~progressive~
1. the new derogatory term for “libtard” aka “liberal” aka “commie” or “socialist”.because republicans have ruined & destroyed the name “liberal”. when people think of them as “liberals”, it is the equivalent to ‘rapist’ or ‘child molester’. hence, the name-change.

2. someone terrified by the idea that someone, somewhere, might be earning money.

3. someone who wants to move the country progressively closer to socialism or communism. see marxist, communist or socialist. they call themselves “progressives” because using “communist” would give them a negative connotation in the public eye.

4. liberal + communist/socialist beliefs = progressive
whoa… no i’m not a liberal… i’m a communi-
i mean……. uh.. (think fast… they’re on to me!)
i’m a progressive!
an arrogant individual who will attempt to dictate how you live your life because, “it’s in your best interest,” as if you don’t know what’s good for you but they do.

wants to take away the money you worked your -ss off to earn and give it to some welfare leech that doesn’t even try to get a job. because “that’s fair.”

will try to restrict your right to free speech if you disagree with them. because “that’s hate speech!”

wants to take away your right and means to defend yourself against violence and force you to be a victim. because “that will make you safer.”

wants to eliminate your freedom of religion. because “churches are intolerant.”

wants to deny you the right to raise your children the way you choose, and instead forcibly indoctrinate them to their way of thinking. they call it “education.”

often have never existed outside of a media studio or university cl-ssroom, but will quickly denounce anybody with actual real-world experience.

go on and on about “free/independent thinking” and being “open-minded,” yet do everything they can to censor anybody who doesn’t toe their party line.

are quick to call anybody who disagrees with them a “racist,” “h-m-phobe,” “bible-thumper,” or “redneck” but call this practice “tolerance and civility.”
progressive: “we progressives are all about fairness! free speech! freedom of religion! any church that won’t perform a gay wedding should be shut down!”

rational person: “look, i got nothing against gays. i have gay friends. but my religious belief says h-m-s-xuality is wrong. i don’t hold it against my gay friends. i just don’t think that a church should be compelled to do something that we believe is a sin. they can still get married at the courthouse, or city hall, or whatever. i’ll attend their wedding. but it’s wrong to force your belief down somebody’s throat.”

progressive: “you’re an ignorant racist h-m-phobe redneck teabagging bible-thumper! you’re intolerant of anybody who disagrees with you!”

rational person: “really?”
1. someone terrified by the idea that someone, somewhere, might be earning money.

2. someone who wants to move the country progressively closer to socialism.
dave just blew his raise on an extension for his house but keeps going on about how evil the corporations are.

he’s so progressive, man.
a word left-wingers now use to describe themselves, because the word liberal has gained a negative connotation.

once the term progressive has been dragged through the mud by right-wing pundits, a new term will again be chosen.
“whoa man, who are you calling a ‘liberal’? i support alternative fuels and the work of bono and al gore. i’m a progressive.”

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