Progressive Blumpkin
progessive blumpkin – a procedure on how to actually get a blumpkin
step 1) fart a lot in her presence during oral s-x and regular f-cking. do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.
step 2) sh-t yourself during oral s-x and/or while banging the snot out of the b-tch. act completely embar-ssed when this happens! “i agree that was awful… let’s take it into the bathroom next time!”
step 3) enjoy your blumpkin filled future life together.
“man that progressive blumpkin sh-t really worked! man i can’t so much as fart without that dirty wh-r- wanting to suck my mule or least bite my nuts… thanks progressive blumpkin”
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