promoser
n.; portmanteau of “promoter poser”; one whose chief technique for attracting members of the opposite s-x (or the same s-x, for h-m-s-xuals) is to pretend to be nontrivially connected to the venue in which he/she is presently in; other popular pretends are owners, owners’ relatives, managers, public relations, vice presidents, disc jokeys, and photographers; may be pr-nounced as either rhyming with “poser” or “loser”; c.p. promoter
john: ladies, i’m sorry to interrupt, but i just want to say how beautiful you are all looking and how honored we are to have you frequent our humble establishment
allison: aw, you’re so sweet. can i have your number so i can call you?
arianna: don’t bother, he’s just a promoser, i saw him paying at the door
owner: alright i dont want to see no fights tonight…
security: yes sir
owner: …no vomiting…
security: yes sir
owner: …no people sneaking into vip, people not paying cover…
security: yes sir
owner: …no fat b-tches, ugly b-tches, b-tches who have wrinkles on their faces…
security: yes sir
owner: …no hooking up on my dance floor, eating girls out on my bartop, bodily fluids on my couches…
security: yes sir
owner: …or drunk people p-ssing in my drinks. but least of all, i don’t want to see no promosers up in my joint
security: yes sir, if we find we shall exterminate
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