pubic inch
a pubic inch is a fictional dynamic unit of measurement that varies according to the s-x of the person using it and also the context in which it is being used.
for men trying to cover up the fact theyve got a tiny pr-ck, a pubic inch is exactly twice that of an standard british inch (conversion factor 1:2). the pubic inch allows them to save face and convince themselves they are no less of a man, even though theyve only got a chippolatta rather than a beef bayonet.
for men joking about the size of any of their mates c-cks, a pubic inch becomes half that of a standard inch (conversion factor 2:1), in order for them to feel good about their miniscule winkies.
for women talking about the size of their long term boyfriends johnson, a pubic inch is twice that of a normal inch so they can boast about their amazing s-x life, when actually he goes to sleep after 5 minutes of frantic pumping, shoots his load and leaves her unsatisfied everytime. but at least her girlfriends think she’s got a good s-x life, and because like all women she cares more about what other people think of her than her own happiness, then its all ok (take high heels as a perfect example, constant pain just because they think it looks good, stupidity at its highest)
for women telling their friends about the guy they sh-gged last night or the long term boyfriend theyve just split up with (who probably performed as above), a pubic inch becomes the size of the lady in questions little finger. demonstrated by clenching the fist and wiggling the little finger about like a maggot
yeah ive got m-ssive c-ck, at least 9 inches long.
i saw jeffs kn-b in the shower n its like a b-tton mushroom! probably only an inch at most!
well, my bobbys got a huge kn-b, at least 10 inches! and we dont have s-x, we make love and its just beautiful.
oh my god you should have seen it! it was like a baby catapiller! (wiggles her little finger)
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