quimby

noun 1. a profession in which you suck all of the air and gas out of dead bodies, so they do not fart or burp during family visiting hours or during the memorial.
they called the quimby in before they prepared the body for the open casket viewing.
the bad-ss mayor of the simpsons’s hometown.
mayor quimby: first, one announcement: i regret to inform you we are not offering childcare tonight. i don’t know who that guy was you were leaving your kids with.
commonly misunderstood to be the central player in an all male three-way, a “quimby” is actually the male in two woman three-way. selected by choice bi-curious trim for his long, never-flaccid p-n-s, “quimbies” have been spotted whiffing the occasional bike seat and, upon request, tossing a nicely-groomed woman’s salad.

other common misuses of the word involve chickens and farts.
my best girlfriend and i picked up this amazing quimby last night who took us to entirely new levels of s-xual bliss.
a goon, a nameless, faceless, part of a gang. a hanger-on, a sidekick of a more outspoken, charismatic bully.
take the cl-ssic movie, “surf ninjas:”
“dude, who were those quimbies in the camo pajamas?”
a righteous soul, one who knows whats good; someone with many ideas.
what are we going to do today quimby?
a totally gay guy that has ridiculous hair but thinks he’s straight
omg that steedman is such a quimby
a quimby is someone who is a total tw-t. no matter how much of a gimp / loser the quimby in question is, they will always think they are a cut above. a quimby is someone who holds their coffee mug with both hands in a cradle like fashion in a way you would on freezing cold day in order to warm your hands. however, the quimby holds his / her mug like this all the f-cking time even in the midst of summer when every other c-nt is sweating their t-ts off.

a quimby will not engage in full group conversation and will adopt a too cool for school att-tude in such a situation, especially if the rest of the partic-p-nts are having a laugh and joke.
a quimby is a miserable tw-t who likes to hang around by themselves as they perceive themselves to be better than everyone else.
a quimby jogs to work but refuses to have a shower so everyone else has to put up with his / her stinking att-tude as well as stinking armpits.
a quimby is someone who is quiet around normal folk, but as soon as his / her boss is on the scene goes on a full on charm offensive which usually results in the quimby and the boss been alone together in the end and a full on r-mm-ng session will them commence.
a quimby is someone you wanna b-tch slap everytime they speak.
fred:’i caught quimby earlier with his tongue lapping round the gaffers brown eye.’
jim: ‘ the pr-cks always doing it man.’
to make a fool of oneself unintentionally. reference to “mayor quimby” from the simpsons, who was subjected to frequent misfortune as the result of his unluckiness. a quimby can refer to an event in which someone humiliates themself or a period of time in which their behaviour was littered with frequent misfortune. the word “qumiby” can be used as a verb or an adjective.
frequent occasions for which the term can be used include: failing a test, getting obscenely drunk, falling over/tripping up etc.

nb: credit to alex waylett for raising awareness of the word
describing someone having had a “quimby”- “you’ve had a quimby mate.” (verb)
describing a currently occuring event- “you’re having a quimby of a time” (adjective)
abusing someone and teasing them- “ahhhh qumiby!” (noun)

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