Rageknight


rageknight:(noun) a term for the game mageknight created by veteran players of the game. coined to more accurately capture the feel of of a game where hours of intricate planning go to sh-t by either the roll of the dice or some unexpected complication. leaving you to stew in your fury as you and your opposition play out the game for an indeterminate amount of time of no less than two hours even though both of you already know who won. the loser plays while intermittently enduring the voice of his inner monologue becoming a broken record. “if i only did this, or if i only did that.”

the most sinister aspect of rageknight is the siren’s call of the game itself. it whispers in your ear as you build your army, “this time it really will be different.” don’t listen to your inner voice. there is no cake. there is only rage!!
stan and jeff are playing a game while fred watches from the couch. adam walks in:

a:hey guy’s what’s going on?

f: stan and jeff are playing rageknight…

j: shut the f-ck up, can’t you see i’m trying to think?(uncomfortable silence broken only by the seething mutterings of j and the sound of his grinding teeth) after five minutes j makes a move.

s:(nervously glancing at j from time to time s silently moves his pieces across the field)

j: god dammit this game is sooo f-cking broken! etc. etc.

(this continues for hours until j’s imminent threat of implosion goes critical and he wrecks the board or they manage to drag the game to it’s bitter end where j will utter many intense curses and oaths about how he will never play this game again. which he will conveniently forgets the next day.)

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