Rasputin

born in 1869 as a peasant in russia, this man had a serious s-xual appet-te which he exploited to its limits. based on some of his preserved remains in a russian museum, he had a 13-inch long p-n-s, and legend has it that he used special powers to f-ck over 100,000 women, including the tzar’s wife, the tzar’s four daughters, the tzar’s chambermaids, and the servant-girls in the tzar’s palace. that or he just pulled his pants down in their presence.
rasputin started out as an alcoholic womanizer and joined a variation of russian orthodoxy called skopsty, which is founded on the belief that the only way to reach g-d is through sin. when rasputin finally became a monk, he travelled a lot, f-cking to his heart’s content, and tales of his travels and the supposed “magical healing powers” that the monk attained reached the ears of tzar nicholas ii, whose son was ailing with hemophilia. rasputin somehow managed to heal the boy and became an important person in the tzars house. however, the tzar’s relatives were not too happy about the monk f-cking their women with his 13-inch c-ck on a daily basis, so they conspired to kill him.
one night, rasputin was invited by the conspirators to dinner. everything was all planned out that night. he was supposed to drink the poisoned wine and eat the poisoned food and die. but that was not the case, because the tzar’s relatives saw in shock as the monk ate and drank enough poison to kill 6 people, and didn’t seem to show any symptoms at all. so, they switched to plan b. they shot him, and found out that it didn’t kill him. they kicked the cr-p out of him and saw that he was still twitching. they cut his d-ck off, and saw that it didn’t work. they stabbed him repeatedly, but he still didn’t die. so they finally wrapped up rasputin’s broken, breathing body and threw it into a river, where he finally died after several hours.
unfortunately for the tzar’s family, they were -ss-ssinated four months later, ending the romanov family line permanently.

rasputin can also sometimes be used as a slang word for a big p-n-s.
if i were rasputin, i would just f-ck and stay out of the limelight instead.
one hard mother f-cker who just wouldnt die, looked on with such desire to have lived a life like him.
sometimes refered to when describing hardness and will to live.
also to describe yourself as a threat should a husband find out your adultery.
hey hey rasputin, you solid mate.

husband: your f-cking my wife.. i’ll kill you
you: watch it mate.. they dont call me rasputin for nothing
russia’s greatest love machine.
ra ra rasputin, lover of the russian queen
they didn’t quit, they wanted his head
ra ra rasputin, russia’s greatest love machine
and so they shot him till he was dead.
gregory rasputin

born:1869
died:december 31, 1916
cause of death: multiple causes

gregory rasputin was an eastern orthodox monk from siberia. he was unwashed, unclean, and unshaven. rasputin was a carousing womaniser and monk with a 13 inch schl-ng. he developed close ties to the czar and his family and heeled czarovich alexi’s heamophila. his s-xual appit-te aroused all the women close to the czar but alienated all the czars relatives. one of the relatives prince felix, conspired to kill rasputin on december 31, 1916, new year’s eve for being a bad influence on the czar during world war i. he and other conspiritors poisioned all of rasputin’s food and wine with cyanide. one of the conspiritors dressed like a gypsy woman for the party. rasputin swallowed enough poison to kill four horses. he was shot several times, stabbed, strangled, -ssaulted, castrated, and he was drowned in the neva river in st. petersburg. three days later rasputin was dead. rasputin’s murder was a death sentence for czar nicholas ii and his family. czar nicholas ii and his family was shot and murdered in 1918 in a red russian occupied middle cl-ss home.

the end
theory of rasputin’s life span: i beleve that the reason why rasputin survived murder attempt arter murder attempt was that he had a bio-chemical in his system that kept him alive.
a b-st-rd who just doesn’t know when to die already.
they shot him and stabbed him and burned him and kicked him, but rasputin still showed signs of life.
charismatic russian “holy man” and cult leader, used his influence and charm to seduce women and clergy, and eventually the tsar and tsarina of russia. used his mysterious skills to cure the russian prince of hemophillia attacks, predict the future, and build up a faithful following of aristocratic ladies. was eventually killed by prince felix felixovitch yussupov after being poisoned with enough cyadide to kill six men, shot in the chest, beaten, stabbed, and thrown in the icy volga.
the act of popping a b-n-r, unzipping/opening your pants, sticking it out, and waving it at a group of people, as to imitate the crazy russian monk.
i got drunk and pulled a rasputin at the poker game last night.