regisphoma
a condition where an individual born with a grotesquely disfigured face that proliferates to extreme levels of ugliness with age. regisphoma is asympotmatic until p-b-rty at which point the ugliness metastasizes to all internal organs and bodily functions. telltale symptoms include mild r-t-rdation and deterioration of the spine rendering it nonexistent . only one individual has ever been doc-mented with this condition.
symptoms: lack of spine causes the inability to keep pants up at the waistline and the tendency to act like a doormat in relationships. mild r-t-rdation results in failure to lock bedroom door during masturbation, a strong preference for gay thai men as hairdressors, and a mouth that is incapable of keeping a secret.
-knock knock-
eric: what?
-jason 2 opens door-
jason: dude, what are you doing?!
-eric covers himself up and frantically reaches for remote to shut off tv-
eric: why’d you open the door!?
jason: you answered ‘what’!!! answering ‘what’ means ‘it’s ok to come in!!!’ why wouldn’t you lock the door?!?! gaaaaaaaahhh
john: what happened.
jason: i just walked in on eric jerking off. why the h-ll wouldn’t the idiot lock the door?
john: must be his regisphoma acting up.
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