Roger Williams University

a school full of some of the biggest tools i have ever witnessed in my lifetime. a plague of douchebags ruining the beautiful area the school is in.

rwu student driving past a pedestrain (or in any situation on a small side-street) – speed up, rev your engine, fly past all the people in the houses or on foot, blaze your sh-t bro!, lettem know how hard you are (so f-ckin’ hard bro)

rwu student goals – staying lean (not thin – “thin? the f-ck!”), gettin some trim late night from some little brunette sk-nk (“buy hah breakfast? you f-ckin serious brah?!”), tan tan tan (“spray uh uthahwise…f-ckin’ whateva”)

dress code: 2 options.
flat-brim hat at about a 35-55 (depending on the week) angle (when p-ssing one of these species, just say, “nice angle bro” and pound your chest once with a fist…they’ll get it), or
hood up, while indoors – after all, who doesn’t admire a good college boy looking like he’s a convicted rapist trying to ‘lay low’ while googling about usher for $30,000 a year in the library (thanks mom and dad)
or
combine both! (hood and hat), esp. in the dining hall at dinner. this shows how much of an ill-mannered, poorly-brought-up f-g you really are.

(ok, the school of engineering is a slight exception…slight bro)
roger williams university cl-ss of ‘whateva bra…

choken up, guido accent, about to cry “i never woulda thought!…a douchebag guido like me…could get a college education. thank you roga williams.”
a school consisting of 99.9% white students. they impress freshmen with their flags from other countries, smiling tour guides and striking dorms. but what they dont tell you is that the ras will write you up every chance they get, the wind never stops and it gets f-ckin cold, if you are lucky to get in a dorm with a/c theyre gonna turn it off 3 weeks into school. cafe has good food but the chances of getting something other than chicken, highly unlikely. the d3 sports teams might as well be d5 with their 0 wins. if you are lucky enough to live on southcampus you will be graced with the erupting noise of the schools biggest f-g in his blue and silver mustang. news flash: the loudness of your car does not add to the 1″ size of your tiny d-ck. soph’s get the shaft with housing being put at baypoint, former hotel, now the lovely dorm of rwu. uppercl-ssmen are allowed wet dorms of newres and bayside (such original names). bro’s; good luck getting even a bj from a girl that doesnt want you to be her boyfriend. cen puts on pep rallys that no one attends. the shuttles run either 15 min early or 37 min late, so it is better to take the 9 hour walk to jlot to get your $50000 car daddy bought you. they have a sweet water tower that could hold all the confiscated alcohol from cedar. psafte has nothing better to do than put a parking ticket on your car or a boot on your sweet rims.

dont forget your fitted hat, marijuana, pharmaceutical drugs, long board, or lax bro shirt upon moving in.
broski: do you go to roger williams university?
laxbro: nah, i transferred like all the other froshes.
broski: why?
laxbro: im black.
broski: valid point.
small to mid sized liberal arts college in bristol, ri. cares more about keeping the lawn looking nice than keeping students for their soph-m-re years.
the retention rate at roger williams university is at the lowest it’s ever been…students are transferring for a better education, more lively campus, and less strict alcohol policies.
a small, private liberal arts college overlooking mt. hope bay in bristol, rhode island. known primarily for its architecture, marine biology, and engineering programs, it attracts students from all over the world (bhutan, vietnam, france, south africa, brazil, etc) but mostly from new england and the greater northeast who come from upper-middle cl-ss backgrounds and are attracted to the school because of its well-groomed campus (which becomes one giant puddle in the winter).

rwu, as it’s abbreviated, is frequently ranked #1 in the country for its sailing team. the teaching staff is full of professors who have taught at brown, risd, and boston schools.

campus culture varies widely based on your social group, ranging from waspy old-money aristocrats to hard lesbians, scary asians and the type of people who major in “criminal justice”. one constant is the prevalence of north face jackets and uggs, though this is more indicative of new england in general than rwu.
roger williams university student #1: “i’m from princeton, drive a bmw and belong to a yacht club.”

roger williams university student #2: “that’s interesting. i’m from fall river and supply the campus lesbians with marijuana.”
a small private school located in bristol, ri that is known for is great architechure programs, school of law, and gabelli school of business. (also known as rich white university). it has a very enjoyable party scene.
guy 1 – hey bro, want to head up to roger williams university (rwu) tonight.

guy 2 – yea that place is sick.