Royce Landon


while listening to journey’s “don’t stop believin'” and receiving a rusty trombone, you feel like you have to fart, and do. however, you end up sharting in the girl’s face, at which point, the girl vomits in your -ss. she p-sses out from the stench, so you take the opportunity to play “hide the peanut b-tter” with her dog. when you’re done, you place sparklers in her nose,then jam a tuba mouthpiece in her -ss and play “washington post march”. if performed in a rolls royce, you must play “n-bles of the mystic shrine” and refer to the act as a rolls royce landon.
guy no. 1: “how did it go last night?”

guy no. 2: “royce landon.”

guy no. 1: “i worship you!”
making it happen royce style.
also. to have committed a royce landon is to have taken a bag of unpopped popcorn and inserted into a gerbil. after insertion, you must place gerbil into microwave. after all kernels have popped (you will know after the kernels only pop every 3 seconds), you must take gerbil out of microwave. let gerbil remains cool as well as popcorn (note: preferred popcorn is orville redenbacher extra b-tter). after cooling, find unsuspecting girl at seedy bar. ask her out for popcorn. when given the affirmative, throw bag of gerbil laced popcorn at her and say, “you’ve been royce landoned!!!!!, you are covered in gerbil popcorn, n-body wants you now except me, lets go do it.” if subject says no (unlikely), go straight to pet store, buy gerbil and use another of the orville redenbacher extra b-tter packs(3 per box). repeat above task. enjoy!

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