Rule Number One

don’t let loon in your poon!
“amanda that guy is bat sh-t crazy, remember rule number one: don’t let loon in your poon. ” -megan
“megan that guy is stalking you remember rule number one. ” -amanda
##grilledcheeseclub #nolooninthepoon
no fat chicks.
a: “i’m gonna go talk to that girl over there playing video games. she looks lonely.”
b: “better not do that, man.”
a: “what? why not?”
b: “rule number one.”
#rule number 1 #rule no 1 ##1 rule #fat #fatty #fatties #fat girls #fat chicks #shame
don’t post useless definitions on ud. namely you, chris.
omfg i gotz teh bestest ideea evar! i iz gona postt thaat im coolz undur teh definition “rule number one”! geenius!
#r-t-rd #urban dictionary #stupid #dumb-ss #idiot
to whovians (or anyone who spends way too much time around one): the doctor lies.
to everyone else: the first, often primary, rule in a list.
whovian 1:rule number one?
large chorus of whovians: the doctor lies!
non-whovian: what the eff?.
#whovian #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #doctor who
in the rules for life, the first one is always this: don’t get caught. other rules may vary by location and other factors, but especially in college when numerous activities of questionable legality are occurring rule number one is don’t get caught.

rule number two is frequently don’t die, unless not dying would interfere with rule number one.
jason: put that pipe away while we’re driving through the speed trap, i don’t want the cops to see and pull us over.
sarah: gotcha, following rule number one.

or, on the outside end of a phone call from jail:

jason: you broke rule number one!
#rule no. 1 #rule # 1 #illegal activity #don’t get caught #life
i am number 1!
here are the rules: rule number one – i’m number 1!