Rumsfailed


common nickname for us defense secretary donald rumsfeld (because he failed, get it?). somehow this man set the world’s most powerful military against a bunch of starving neighborhood thugs with counterfeit aks and homemade bombs, and lost. rumsfailed was able to achieve this fabulous result because he is a civilian businessman with no military experience, and ran the war as a business, trying to make money for his employers (general dynamics, halliburton, carlisle group), rather than actually trying to win or stabilize the country.
rumsfailed says:
“i’m against deploying troops in wars. when you pay a soldier the soldier gets the money. when you buy billions of dollars worth of uneeded cr-p from halliburton and general dynamics then the military industrial complex gets the profit. which is why we fight meaningless wars like this in the first place.”

“f-ck the doomed, i’m senile.”

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