saddle sniffer

a person (most likely a man) who gets s-xual gratification from sniffing bicycle saddles. they sniff the material and imagine a woman sitting on it only moments before and hope they can smell some v-g-n-l juices.
(yes, there are people out there who do this…)
gary sniffed the bicycle seat, taking in the coolness and feel of the leather. this was all he could smell, but he knew the lovely laura had been riding it all morning, and for a second, he thought he could detect the slightest arouma of fresh tw-t… then he realised he had only imagined it… the sick f-cking saddle sniffer.
bike riding enthusiast that’s lacking the social skills to interact in regularly re-occuring typical scenarios with whatever s-x they are attracted to. they lack regular reasonable female interaction on a day to day basis in life. any time a female shows up to a group cycling event, the saddle sniffer is immediately right behind them for the entire ride. he takes extreme advantage of every second the female has joined the group ride. he is offering to adjust the bike for the woman, bragging about his ability to -ssist with any and all types of anything the woman may need on the bike ride, warning her of anything on the trail or road ahead of them.. offering to take her on a “private tour” of whatever area the group is riding after the main group ride… just all in all, hes up that womans -ss for the entire bike ride.. almost to the point of creeping the woman out so that they never want to show up to a group bike ride again. one of the main reasons for women only exclusive bike clubs ( because they don’t want to be around such male douches ) and one of the reasons that most group bike rides are nearly completely male dominated.
“bob was being such a saddle sniffer towards on that one chick -ss all night on the ride, dam, you’ve got to know hes not getting any at home”