said no one ever


an nullified attribution intended to convey the absurdity of a statement.
“thank god it’s monday,” said no one ever.
declarative phrase appearing at the end of a statement which effectively negates the meaning of the previously stated text. essentially, the presence of this statement instructs the reader that what has been stated up to this point is a fallacy in that no one would make that statement under any circ-mstances, at any time (in the past, present or future) in any corner of the known universe.
i am so tired of bacon that i hope i never have to eat it again. said no one ever.
a phrase put at the end of a sarcastic or misleading statement to imply how unheard of it is; this joke is mainly used when a person can’t think of anything clever to say
“‘man, where can i get a pair of those uggs?’ said no one ever.”
“‘let me bing that for you!’ said no one ever.”
“‘nickelback is comprised of the finest musicians of our generation,’ said no one ever.”
“(insert reverse psychological statement here), said no one ever.”
a phrase used to fervently punctuate the ridiculousness of any statement preceding it.
the horrendous pain my fibroid tumors have me in when i get my period is all worth it so that at the end of the day i can say i braved it like a real woman, said no one ever.
a phrase spoken after something is said that is highly ridiculous/ improbable/unlikely to occur
“pam anderson’s b–bs are too small” said no one ever.

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