Salem NH

a small town shaped like a glove. thats how we remember how to find ourselves on large maps. there all a lot of road and a lot of pot-holes. there’s also a lot of pot. the town is divided into two parts, north salem and south salem. they should divide the town in two seperate towns because the northern part is rich, the southern part is influenced by drugs and is pretty much like a part of m-ssachussetts. the school systems are great, until you reach high school. salem high school is great education wise, but is the number one drug trafficing school in nh. on a good note, salem was ranked the 85th best town to live in, in 2007 according to cnnmoney.com. on sat-rday you rarely see a nh license plate, there are soo many m-ss cars. that because we have no sales tax. salem is popular for its mall.
kid 1: i wanna live in salem nh

salem resident: no you dont buddy.
just like how methuen is a run-off of lawrence, the southern part of salem nh is a run-off of methuen. the northern part is a run-off of windham and to a lesser extent the seacost. about 95% of salem residents were born in lawrence-methuen, malden, revere, or the sh-tty parts of boston like dorchester, so one can see why the town has so many problems. people moving from m-ss to salem to get away from all the sh-t m-ss is in have no idea that all of the sh-t from m-ss spills over into salem. salem nh is just nh in name only. all along the town’s state border are shops for clothes and liquor. there’s also a mall where lawrence-methuen people crowd in on sundays. drugs from l-m frequently make their way into salem, making salem the undisputed drug capital of nh.
when i first moved to salem nh i thought i would be leaving all the bureaucracy, political correctness and street rats behind. now i realize salem nh is exactly like m-ss.

or

person 1: so this is new hampshire. where’s all the granite, trees, colonial homes and freedom lovers? why are there so many nanny-staters? and why are the only gun owners hispanic? this is just like m-ssachusetts!

person 2: you’re in salem nh buddy. if you want the real nh drive two hours north up 93 until you’re past concord.
a town located in southern new hampshire. salem is close by to many of the largest new england cities, including lowell, methuen, manchester and nashua. salem is known for its shopping mall, as well as can-bie lake park. salem high school is widely recognized as the worst high school in nh, widely due to the amount of drug trafficking and fights. salem is also known for it’s “salem tough guys”. many kids who attend salem high are afflicted with the “salem kid complex”, meaning that they think there the sh-t and think that they are the toughest kids around and try to fight everyone, but in turn make themselves look like r-t-rded -ssholes. salem residents are also notorious for hating inhabitants of nearby communities that aren’t complete sh-t holes like salem, such as londonderry, windham, and derry.
“hey, i think that kid is from salem nh!”

“how can you tell?”

“because he’s trying to act like a tough guy.”

“salem sucks.”