Salty Monocle


a s-xual act in which, when reaching climax, the man withdraws his p-n-s from s-xual release, then proceeds in -j-c-l-t-ng in a straight line up the side of the woman’s cheek and circling the eye to form a monocle composed of s-m-n.

this is not to be confused with the “gl-ss eye” or “salty sungl-sses” in which the man covers the entire eye or in a more challenging feat to pull off, circles both eyes, respectively.
“you look simple ravishing with that salty monocle my dear, you most certainly shimmer with a higher cl-ss.”

“last night i gave your mother a salty monocle, she was the belle of the ball.”

“omfg! my eye! x__o”

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