sammamish

a place where dads roll around in their bmw’s like a bunch of 20 year olds, moms (most milfs) drive their escalades, and the kids get stuck driving the porshe or tahoe, g-d forbid. everyone truly thinks they are “above” the world living on the plateau. the truth is, they are too distanced from reality. when it rains, it pours and the people stay tucked away in their multi-million dollar homes planning trips to tropical get-aways. when it is sunny, every lake within 10 miles become a sea of malibu wakeboarding boats. suprising the people are already tan; thank you tanning salons. if you are a girl and have brown hair you dye it blonde, if you have blonde hair you dye it brown. everyone is so insecure they can’t settle for one look for more than a month… take trendy to a whole new level. the people are nice, but some lack serious depth. personalities are defined by money and pride. strike that from a sammamish born and you mind as well eat their soul.

what was once a quaint town has grown into a booming nesting ground for the some of the worlds richest and most stuck up people. sammamish is the oc of washington.

despite all of this, it is still a nice place. beautiful year around and plenty of things to do. if you love the outdoors it’s a perfect location; tiger mt, cascades, lake sammamish, snoqualmie river, mt. si. they are all close. if you can afford the lifestyle and avoid getting sucked into the abyss of rich pr-cks, it’s the place to be. did i ever mention starbucks?
you know you are from sammamish when you pull into a starbucks coffee and see every $60,000 suv or full size truck on the market in the parking lot, yet everyone inside is a middle age mother nursing on decaf, non-fat, latte while sporting their new trendy workout outfit their husband bought them so they don’t ever get fat while he is off at work making the big bucks.
small suburbian city in the greater seattle area of washington. known to be full of stuck up rich b-tches and stuck up rich tough guys. the girls wear so much make-up they look like barbie-dolls. if they have straight hair, they curl it, if they have curly hair, they straighten it. most of the girls are fake they pretend they’re so modest and hate fake people, when all of them are fake themselves. the guys can be just as bad. skinny jeans, odd cluttered jackets. the guys are tough and act tougher. drugs and alcohol are just another day for them, and if you don’t do it your a p-ssy. 50 foot drop with a bike? just another day, won’t do it? p-ssy. they think everyone but them is a gay little pansy. but away from these people there are decent people out there. little neighborhoods scattered around the plateau are run down little houses. where decent people can live. nice, real, people can be rich or poor, it just so happens that money turns most sammamish kids downhill. not everyone is a rich sn-b, just most of them.

play a sport? you better as h-ll be the best at it. on the best team around, or you suck. you’ll be critized until you want to die unless your on the absolute best team. the constint influence from all the bad kids, makes you wonder why everyone in sammamish isn’t dead.
rollin down the street is a $70,000 lambo, next to you is a ’92 toyota, barely running. starbucks around every corner. you could stop for one every morning, or you could be treated with one every month or so. 40 year old men drinkin coffee talkin on their cell phone with there fancy bluetooth headsets. then theirs the little kids running around with their mom down at bartell drugs lookin for candy. fake people, nice people, fake people who pretend to be nice, nice people who fake to fit in. all kinds of people in sammamish.
a relatively small town located on a plateau in washington. popular activities include hanging out at safeway, skateboarding and tanning. many kids think theyre the sh-t because theyre parents work for microsoft. most kids define themselves as emo and enjoy wearing dark colors. girls try too hard to be “trendy” while immature boys use stupid words like “pwn” and “juke” and still find humor in high fives.
im going to commit suicide because i live in sammamish.
i know a lot of people say sammamish is full of sn-bs but they probably never even lived there. sammamish is a not too crowded suburb. people there are friendly and are mostly used to the rain. i don’t think there are any millionares there. people there aren’t miffs, billionares, or anything other jerks are saying people of sammamish are.
lyle: “what city is the coolest?”
kyle: “sammamish!”
living in sammamish i know that it is a sh-tty place. yeah, it is a very nice place to live, but it is terribly boring here. the only thing to do is either go to safeway or ride a bus to anywhere fun. the people here are fake. i am one of the few that live in a older house and not those mansions that most of the population owns. there are mostly preppy sn-bs who think they are so much better than you, sending nudes to everyone with their expensive camera phones and getting wasted and sleeping with everyone. the guys all wear purple and ride bikes, which none of them even can, and use every girl they get their hand on. then there’s the “emo’s”. my house is so small, my parents won’t buy me tickets to the metro station concert! -cut- then they do drugs that makes them look soooo hardcore. everyone here does drugs. and if you don’t (i choose not to) people try and pressure you into them and make you feel like a p-ssy. there are so many wanna-be’s in this town, it drives me crazy. the only two people from bellevue who moved here moved back within a month its that gay here. all i can say is unless you have a car and a full tank of gas to leave this town, don’t come here!
sammamish is the one place that makes the oc look like a cake walk
sammamish washington, where it rains cash, and also where it rains. black kids try to be white, white kids try to be black. blonds are brunettes, and vice versa. everyone here is rich, (yes even you ms. druggie) but they try not to be. there is one that controls us all. hail mysp-ce.

everyone really, really hates jews. they love jesus so much they would have s-x with him over and over again.

did i mention starbucks?
sammamish brunnette: i’m thinking about dying my hair blond.

w-ngsta: that’s so hot. lets go have a threeway with jesus
also see the platt. everyone that lives there, hates it when there is no reason to. look at tacoma you sick freaks. does have a spoiled side with our juicy tote bags and ugg boots. n-body knows what canned meat is.”w-ngsters” can be quite common along with some poser “druggies.” you’re not cool when you claim you smoke weed at sammamish.everyone has a mysp-ce.world of worldcraft (wow) is quite common and the term pwn is said multipaly by the same people.texting during cl-ss is normal and the only place to go is saffron.
guitar hero is religion.
you gotta love us.
beverly hills? screw that b-tch i live in sammamish.

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