Scally

i hate charvers, they’re all c-cks

burberry hats and burberry socks,

earrings made of cheap fake gold,

f-g b-tts that they always hold,

they wear them stupid sports clothes too,

while they’re ‘bezzin’ with their ‘crew’

around the town, just hanging out,

they all swear and scream and shout,

they have a language called townie speak,

drink white sh-te and get f-cked all week,

they’re hair so full of hairspray it makes me gag,

“‘ere you mate, giv’ us a f-g

f–kin’ this and f–kin’ that,

don’t you ‘dis’ me burberry hat

‘scuze me mate i f-cked ya mam,

gi’ us sum pennies to buy some scran

meeeh! you f-ckin’ b-st-rd boggers

di’ you like me adi’ joggers?

shut yer mouth or i’ll shut it for yer

i don’t need no court-room lawyer

going to prison is like f-ckin’ hardcore

waitin’ in the dole line is such a bore

in me jail cell tha time don’t p-ss

(‘ere jus’ don’ tell anyone i got f-ck’d in the -ss)!

me mums a slag an mi sis’ a hoe

u take ta p-ss… but boferd? no!

thats why i’m r-t-rded and can hardly speak

but i’m tha best an’ you’re a ‘freak’ (mmmeeeeeeh!!!)

well minted is the town cross,

we can go down ‘market and just doss,

i like me ashlands and ta council estate”

its those b-st-rd charvers that i really hate!
council estates, sea side resorts, town centers, anywhere where u can hear a car alarm…
a scally is a low life loser who lacks the basic education to string together sentences of more than five words. this prevents them from taking up the only job they are qualified for as they cannot say “do you want fries with that ?”
to make up for their shortcomings they wear a uniform of fake designer gear and hang around on the streets looking for stuff to rob. the ultimate outfit is anything by lacoste “cos its kewl laaa”. they normally only own one tracky and their single mothers dont know how to clean it so they are a bit grimy and they stink.
once a person has succ-mbed to scallydom there is no saving them and they are doomed to spend the rest of their lives hanging round street corners with other losers drinking cheap cider and 25 lager.
to rebel against their sad lot in life scallies actually create a perverse sense of pride in belonging to the group and attempt to ‘out scally, the other members to gain approval.
is that a dog t-rd over there or a scally taking a rest?
a government experiment which involved breeding rats and humans gone terribly wrong. originally intented to create a type of drone army but insted created a ever increasing group of city dwelling sm-gm- piles that live in tower blocks or boxes.it has recently been discovered that these genetically modified rats have little or no intellegence and only survive on basic instict thus the mistake was made. insted of fighting wars these vermin fight random people for “looking at them” will only fight one normal person at a time and there has to be at least 50 scallies before any combat takes place. they also steal from old people off licences and cars doesnt matter what it is, it could be a comb they’ll still have it.

general scally image
scallies are often easy to spot as theyhang around together and all look the same, whiteish(sometimes green), greasy, spotty short haired, covered in “gold” jewellary (crafted by the finest £1 shop usally made from copper, tin plastic etc)and of course the trackie bottems, white sports socks, a woolie jumper/hooded over-throw jacket, baseball cap that teeters on the back of the head, white mucky trainers/f-ck off pair of boots. unable to speak cohererantly

still scallies do maintain some sort of social/military structure be awre of the following invading your town

foot scallies
aged 13-16 that hang round outside off-licences, corners, parks. uniformed in the manditory adidas trackie bottems tucked into white kappa sports socks. any type of cl-ssic trainer adidas/reebok (rockports boots worn for nights out) weapons of choice tin of spay paint, gl-ss bottle.

commader scall
aged 17-20 require a vehicle of some sort usually a vuaxhall nova, astra. ford esort, sierra, suzuki 125 trialblazer (used generally for sn-tching old ladies handbags) all of which have been modified using scr-p metal, polyfiller, drainpipes and lego. dress code still the same as taste is not a quality found in any scally. weapon of choice baseball bat or a plank of wood located in the drivers side footwell, “gold” knuckle dusters

general scally or “scallite”
there only can ever be one scally elite to each group of about 30 scallys (6 commaders, 18 foot, 6 “female” scallies) a scally leader is primative looking, has to be over 25 years old have a criminal record which include any of these: burglary, theft abh gbh and genreally being offensive. has to own a pair of jeans and a shirt, requires some sort of facial hair, have what may be cl-ssed as a human girlfriend and to be father to have his own bedsit and sells drugs. in some cases addicted to heroin. not to be approached at all as he will stink like a grannies rotting f-nny. uniformed in a cl-ssic full all white adidas tracksuit rockport boots nicely trimmed with the finest gold jewellary from argos
weapon of choice an air rifle, piece of scaffold, alsation or rotweiler dog.

places to visit for some fun filled scally bashing leeds liverpool keighley manchester, london bimingham mewcastle and any sea side resort
f-ck off scally
scally f-ck off
off f-ck scally
ned, bazza, townie

a term coined originally in liverpool to group together a certain type of person through their clothes, language and ideals.
the male ‘scally’ can be easily recognised through his clothing and language used. hair is to be short and thickly gelled, often accompanied by a cap (burberry preferably) tilted at a 45 degree angle. gold jewelly is a must, curb chains and bracelets mainly, but the sovereign ring must also be taken into account. a small hooped earring never goes amiss. tops must be slightly baggy and carrying a latest brand name (at time of writing henri lloyd is popular). polo shirts (hackett) are also a popular motif of the scally, coupling heavy branding with an ability to lift the fold-over collar up around the neck. tracksuit bottoms are the desirable trouser of choice, often being rolled into sport socks. trainers must be worn (except on nights out where loafers become king). reebok cl-ssics or nike air max are still the reigning style, although adidas county trainers are becoming seen more widely. transport comes from ‘suped-up’ cars which are often between 10 and 20 years old. the lower to the floor, the better. swearing is a common factor of scally language, along with monoslylaabic terms, possibly due to the dropping out of education before gcse’s could be taken.

the female scally is often seen with a much older male scally. hair is scr-ped back and heavily hairsprayed. limitless amounts of make-up cover any blemishes, and the look is finsihed off with big hooped earrings. clothes wise, tracksuit tops and tracksuit bottoms or jeans are preferred, along with the mandatory trainers. vpl always helps. smoking and a young baby in a second hand pushchair are good accessories.

to find a scally, your best bet will be to parade the local big shopping mall, the local nightspots or, especaiily in seaside resorts, the main parade along the beach where numerous scally cars can be seen circling round, and round, and round…
scallys are lowlife sc-m who generally hang around street corners or shopping complexes waiting to either rob or intimidate someone.

they understand no large words from the english dictionary so stick to insults like ‘kn-b’ instead of stringing together amusing profanities such as ‘kn-b – jockey’.

they are generally seen wearing fake ‘designer’ clothing ranging from adidas to a hot favourite ‘henry lloyd’. they generally wear caps that are too small for their heads thus restricting all possible blood flow to thier tiny brains, big ‘rockport’ boots are popular, stripey jumpers make them look like convicts and of course tracksuit bottoms tucked into their cartoon socks are standard.

only scallys and cyclist tuck in their trousers. cyclists have a proper reason. to keep the bottoms from tangling with the chain. scallys however use it as a place to store stolen goods. the items they steal will of course not fall from the trousers as they are tucked in. why doesnt some one tell them about elastic?

older scallys (20-30) are generally jobless and are rarely seen unless it is dole day or they are out robbing.

younger scally females often find it essential to be pregnant by the age of 15. they generally call their devil sp-wn awful names like ‘michaeeloh’ this of course means many more scallys are introduced into the world each day to provide a very amusing source of entertainment for the rest of us.
visit stockport. looks for stripey jumpers or listen for car alarms.
the plural of scally, meaning a group of young uneducated townies.
stuart: hey mate, look at that group of chavvy kids.
paul: what a bunch of scallies!!
mammal with little to no basic social skills. communicates via a series of grunts and hand gestures.
lives in a social group consisting of a hierarchy where the leader or ‘propa hard bloke’ reins supreme in his knock off henry lloyd sweatshirt. females of this species show a gross amount of flesh in order to obtain a mate in order to produe young at an early age – usually 15-18. these creatures have a variaty of mating calls including the well known ‘ere ar yo’ and ‘ere ar will yo buy us some f-gs mate’.
often found at night near cornershops, parks, phoneboxes or anyother place they feel they may intimidate far superior creatures, the scally will most certainly be found with a can of white lightning or woodp-ck-r in their posseion.
while these creatures seem aggressive and act like complete t-ss-rs it is important to note that a string of long and hard to pr-nounce words often confuses them leaving them utterly helpless e.g. ‘are you a bit thick like mate?’ is often most sucessful at rendering a scally stupified.
see liverpool shopping centre,manchester arndale,london centre and the majority of dole queues

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