schmitty

noun(n.)- a name to call someone who has been owned, insulted, or publicly humiliated; a term for someone who thinks they’re cool when they’re really a tool;

(var.) shlumpshlack schmiity- a schmitty who is also an old, wrinkly person.
somebody comes to a halloween party dressed as the ceo of a multi-national corporation. that person is a schmitty for dressing as a ceo to a freaking halloween party.
1. noun – a hypothetical person who is always a bit cooler than everyone, has more stuff than you, is better in every way.

2. verb – doing something a little beer than someone else, or buying a better version of something.
1.
“schmitty has one of those.”
“she’s not as hot as schmitty’s girlfriend.”
“the world record is 23 chicken legs, but schmitty ate 24.”
“schmitty’s car is a little faster.”

2.
“i bought a new tv that’s an inch bigger than yours. i schmitty’d you.”
“everytime i get something new for my boat, joe has to go and buy something a little bit better just to schmitty me.”
a common euphamism created by derrick parker of duluth, mn, aka dp. the word was first used in reference to a p-n-s, but the definition was later broadened to encomp-ss anything cl-ssied as a “thing” or anything that can be reffered to with the indirect pr-noun “it”.
you can get my schmitty = you can get the d. did you go to that party last night? = did you go to that schmitty last night?
giant t-st-cl-s that hang real low. nut in the man bag. b-lls.
dude don’t hit me in the schmitties!!!
o that b-tch hit me in the schmitties!!!!!!
that guy that usually shows up at a party with a couple of six packs in his hands, probably wearing gym shorts, a t shirt, and his hat backwards. he is the epitome of cool and everyone usually shouts his name when he walks into a place.
random party goer- “who is at the door?”
man kicks open the door holding a six pack in each hand
crowd- “schmitty!!!!!”
falling down the stairs while being intoxicated and wetting ones pants
the next morning saras pants were all wet from her smittie the night before
a person who thinks they are very cool. they are cool, but they like to talk about s-x…a lot. they are very ghetto.
you talk about s-x a lot and are very ghetto, you are such a schmitty.

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