schurman
rhymes with spermin’. also the last name of the worlds greatest football player known to man. stands about 5 ft flat. a member of the lollipop guild. gets every girl you have ever attempted to talk to. breathes in oxygen yet exhales pure s-x.
woman: “did you see that?!”
man: “no babe, wat was it?”
woman: “i think i just got knocked up by a schurman”
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