Scio Dirty
a scio dirty is a person who meets all of the following criteria:
-lives in or within a 2 minute drive of scio, oh
-has one of the following: at least two broken down cars in their front yard/ has gr-ss so long it looks like the plains of africa/ has a house that looks like it would be perfect in a horror film
-has the appearance and odor of someone who has yet to discover soap
-finds backyard boxing to be one of the best “sports” ever
-frequents the scio bridge and/or scio park
-are generally despised by nature, normal people, and g-d.
scio dirties tend to congregate together at first in nests. once a nest has been established, the area becomes toxic, driving all other residents away or corrupting them into dirties. many parts of eastern and south western scio are over-run with dirties.
dirties are cl-ssfied into 4 tiers
tier 1- little f-g that amuses you with how he thinks he is emo
tier 2- over-inflated sense of worth and strength, walks in middle of road
tier 3-random acts of stupidity, will try and fight you if given a chance
tier 4-will kill you if you enter his territory
dirties are not harmed by conventional weaponry such as bats or sharp instruments, as they are too stupid to register the pain. soap has been found to create an effective barrier to warding off dirties. being caught in the rain burns their skin, as it is as close to a shower they will ever get. intellectual conversation will stun most low level dirties, but will enrage a tier 4 dirty.
oh well, at least i’m not a scio dirty.
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