Secret Seagull
a form of voyeurism in which the perpetrator m-st-rb-t-s and remains hidden whilst observing the fornication of others (e.g in a cupboard or under a bed). as the observed are reaching climax, the fapping phantom makes his presence known in a startling manner, -j-c-l-t-ng over the victims whilst cawing menacingly like a seagull.
eoin: i was going down on rebecca last night and niall pulled a secret seagull on me!
ryan: oh sh-t what happened?
eoin: i was about to scream at him to leave but before i could, a barrage of s-m-n hit the back of my throat.
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