self-help paradox


the age-old conundrum of “people who seek self-improvement vs. people who need self-improvement” — generally speaking, the people who are conscientious and unashamedly self-examining enough to actively seek ways to improve themselves do not really need to self-improve very much, whereas the people who truly do need to improve themselves will not admit that they even have a self-inadequacy problem, and so they arrogantly/impatiently refuse to seek or accept help in improving their character or behavior (think, the infamous “getters gettin’ got” conversation between madea and dr. phil).
client, to counsellor, at the outset of their weekly meeting: breaker one-five for reality check — come on back?
counsellor, playing along: yeah, go ahead, breaker — reading you wall-to-wall and treetop-tall.
client: thanks — that’s a big ten-four, good buddy. well, i’m in the process of trying to improve myself, and so i thought i’d send a random shout-out over the waves to check my progress. i’ve been trying to be more sociable and patient and helpful to everyone, visualize things more from their perspective, and so on.
counsellor: well, eights and other good numbers to you on that one, good buddy — that’s certainly a positive start. have you tried self-help books?
client: oh, a great big ten-four there, good buddy — i’ve read at least a half-dozen of ’em cover-to-cover, and loved every page; the problem, though, is that i never seem to find any new ideas — most everything in there is stuff i already know about and am actively practicing, so the books just re-ssuringly confirm the nature and wisdom of my efforts, not provide fresh perspectives for further improvement.
counsellor: ah… well, ten-four, good buddy — i totally “get you” there… the old “self-help paradox”, eh?? the only people who’ll read those books are ones who don’t need ’em!

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