Shaftesbury


a hilltop town in dorset. home to an abbey, gold hill, tesco, and shaftesbury school, and not much else except woods, fields, cows, rather nice country people and retired war veterans.

the people of shaftesbury can take pride whilst gazing from their hill at the neighbouring towns such as gillingham and sturminster newton. by doing this they are reminded of their superiority from the fact that they don’t live in an imbred squalour dominated by chavs.

recently however, the chav, have been advancing on the hill of shaftesbury. the recent influx is thought to be from gillingham of which the vermin seek the nearest tesco supermarket.

precautionary measures have not yet been taken by the town council – also known as the ‘chimpanzee committee’ due to the large presence of chimpanzees imported illegally from gillingham school on the board of councilors.
‘shaftesbury is the city of a dream’ – thomas hardy
some place in dorset populated by teenagers unaware of their s-xuality and parents ashamed of their children.
shaftesbury also sounds funny.
ben: i live in shaftesbury!
people -not- from a village: go back to your village, village-tard!

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