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renaissance playwright who has been ruined by english teachers and academics who insist on over–n-lyzing his plays and sonnets.
shakespeare wrote hamlet to be enjoyed not ripped apart in lit cl-ss until it has no more meaning.
william shakespeare was a brilliant playwright who’s works are the cause of constant b-tching from people either too stupid to understand them, or too lazy to bother to try.

his most famous works being: hamlet, macbeth, and oth-llo. which deal with (respectively): a depressed goth kid, -ss-ssinating leaders, and interracial s-x…if this isn’t relevant to modern times i don’t know what is.
oooomggggggg shakespeare was the reason i h8ed english cl-ss!!!!!!11111111111111111
undeniably the most influential man in the p-rno industry. by altering many of the t-tles from his thirty-seven plays, the shakespearean theme in the bedroom–or anywhere else for that matter–has been an immediate success, beginning with ‘the secret s-x lives of romeo and juliet’ (1969). other raunchy adaptations of the famous bard’s work consist of t-tles like: a midsummer night’s cream, a midsummer’s wet dream, a midsummer night’s creampie, king rear, loves l-b– licked, hardcore lady macbeth, in the flesh (an adaptation of macbeth), measure for measure (involving two gay department store salesmen), the taming of the screw, t-tties andronicus, ebony andronicus, much ado about nuttin’, two gentlemen do verona, two gentlemen in verona, two gentlemen in each other, the merchant of p-n-s, p-n-s and adonis, the merry wh-r-s of windsor, the merry wives of bukkake, the tragedy of julius creamer, julius’ s-m-n, as you like it… over and over, as you lick it, the best part of henry vi, -n-l laments: romeo and juliet, romeo and julian, hamlet’s hoe, hamlet gets a handjob, x hamlet, twelfth night of sodomy, measure for pleasure, othelia/the wh-r- of venice beach, oth-llo: dangerous desire, alls well when swallowed well, the rape of lucrecia, the rape of lucy, the rape of luke (disputable), the temptress, the two h-rny kinsman, shannon does shakespeare, and the sodomy of cleopatra. these t-tles can be located on various sites, like imdb.com, radosh.net, and panopticist.com for the release dates, etc. in 2001, the ‘bardcore’ films were nominated for 10 adult video news awards, including a best actress nomination for the p-rn legend nina hartley, as t-tania. amherst professor richard burt is one of the most notable scholars studying shakespeare-riffed p-rn–see richardburt.org for more information. and although the notorious poet is long since departed, his influences in the p-rn industry will not soon be forgotten–especially to those of us who enjoy masturbating to -rg-smic shouts of juliet in a horrible, yet fitting, early modern english accent. after all, it was shakespeare who said it best: “making the beast with two backs” (oth-llo, i, i).
“the only other glimpse of shakespeare comes when oth-llo wonders how c-ssio got hold of desdimona’s strawberry-spotted handkerchief. or, in this version, her leopard-print thong.” -richard burt

“finally, an adaptation of the taming of the shrew for everyone who thought ten things i hate about you was too cleverly written.” -rb

“shakespeare left the explicit s-x out of his version, but you can imagine he’d approve of, for example, lady macbeth’s leather-dom style and banquo’s ghost presiding over an hallucinatory orgy.” -rb

“montagues don’t fall in love with capulets, they just have s-x with them.” -rb

“’my heart is montague,’ explains mercutio, ‘but my pr-ck is nonpartisan.’” -rb
one of histories first signs of emo.
canst thou, o cruel! say i love thee not,
when i against myself with thee partake?
do i not think on thee, when i forgot
am of myself, all tyrant, for thy sake?
who hateth thee that i do call my friend?
on whom frown’st thou that i do fawn upon?
nay, if thou lour’st on me, do i not spend
revenge upon myself with present moan?
what merit do i in myself respect,
that is so proud thy service to despise,
when all my best doth worship thy defect,
commanded by the motion of thine eyes?
but, love, hate on, for now i know thy mind;
those that can see thou lovest, and i am blind.
–shakespeare

a guy who wrote good plays that confuses the h-ll out of amerians
“what the f-ck does sonnet 36 mean? and what about 1-154?”
a writer of plays. he basically wrote plays to entertain people. he did not do it to show off his iambic pentameter, or what ever it is called. he did not write them to show off his grammer, he did not write them to show off his use of adjectives, and he sure as heck did not write them to show off his, and point out his use of phrases.

he wrote them to entertain the m-sses. that is all. he wrote them like a artist makes a movie. when we see a movie, do most of us look at the plot or do we examine the use of words and scenary to find out why a part makes us feel “sad”?

most of the information we learn from english cl-ss about the use of phrases and words is just the complicating a natural feeling. the raping and ripping appart of his writings is a reason many students do not grow a appreciation of him and his work. as a matter of fact, many students grow a deep disgust, and sometimes hatreof him and his work.

ps. his work does relate to modern times. ex. revenge in some of his plays.
student: i hate shakespeare!!!!!!!

parent: relax, you only hate him because of how the school ruins his work……

(forgive me of my spelling in this.)
v. \ˈshāk-ˌspir\ to invent, or otherwise put a new word into practice.
dude, i just shakespeared the word lesbianesque!

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