shea martin’s disease

a contagious disease in which the victim appears to be older than he/she actually is. if left untreated, the victim may become hated by his/her peers.

other symptoms include…
– finding a new hobby on a weekly basis
– engaging disinterested persons in tedious conversations regarding the hobby
– failure of various physical training tests and immediately covering it up by pretending to be a bodybuilder. also, showing others shirtless pictures.

– creating a calendar featuring various naked poses of themselves.
– asking friends for large cash loans to fund new hobbies instead of simply getting a bank loan.

– claiming people make fun of them for being smarter than everyone else.
victim: i have been bodybuilding for a full 2 weeks, check out these redwoods. -points to legs- would you mind taking a couple pics for my naked calendar of myself?

bystander: dude, you need to chill. i think you might have shea martin’s disease.

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