sheisskopf

the german word for “sh-thead”.
shut up, you scheisskopf!
1. german for sh-thead.

2. also a little-known card game for four players. each player is dealt three face-down cards as well as three face-up cards (not piled up). players hold no cards in their hands, and the object of the game is to get rid of all one’s cards. play begins with the player to the dealer’s left, who can play any of his three face-up cards by laying it out in the center of the surface. the next player (clockwise) must continue by playing a card of higher value, and so on until the pile is cleared, at which point play begins again with a low card.

the pile can be cleared in a number of ways. if any player does not have a card higher than the one facing him, he must either play a ‘special card’ (see below) or take the entire pile into his hand (at which point he may then play those cards out of his hand).

four cards have special characteristics; when a two or ten is played, the pile is thrown out. these cards may be played -at any time-. a three forces the previous player to collect the pile. a seven card forces the previous player to put down a card less than or equal to seven (except if they play a 2, 3, or 10), at which point play goes clockwise again.

when a seven is played, the player who threw it must shout “ha ha ha! you have to go lower!” in their most h-m-s-xual german accent to the player who must now throw a lower card.

once one has expended all of the cards in one’s hand, one continues to then play one’s face-up cards, and then, choosing at random, the three face-down cards. if a player plays a face-down card which does not comply with the expectation (it is higher than the last card, a 2, a 3, a 10, or lower if the last card played was 7), he/she must collect the pile into his/her hand.

a very common variant of this game forces anyone who “goes lower” to simultaneously drink a shot of hard liquor. a variant of this drinking-style sheisskopf allows players to throw more than one seven at a time. accordingly, the previous player must drink a number of shots equal to the number of sevens played.

when a player has expended all of his/her cards, he/she has won the game, and should shout “sheisskopf!” play continues until there is one loser, the last one to expend all of his/her cards.

this game, while seeming quite stupid when sober, becomes more and more fun at an alarming rate as the players become more intoxicated, especially if they are forced to drink more than a shot for each time they “go lower.” the game is best played with such a type or quant-ty of alcohol per seven that the players somewhat gleefully dread “going lower.”
chuck and d-ck were playing sheisskopf over at stiles last night; they’re both really hung over.