Shop Vac

when a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you’re entire package (b-lls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.
i found a nice shop vac last night.
a thing, situation, or person that both sucks and blows (i.e., really sucks). named after the shop-vac vacuum cleaner, which can be set to either draw air in or push it out.
“i hate my job, my boss is a total shop-vac.”

“you had to eat tofu hotdogs because she’s a vegan? what a shop-vac!”
s-xual act only capable of being preformed by the talented:

a male or female human, and/or animal forms a tight seal over the -n-s of his or her s-xual partner (usually with the lips of the mouth–though the differing biological attributes of species may change this slightly, e.g. elephants may use their trunks) and attempts to suck all accessible fecal matter from the consenting colon into the mouth.
due to the high volume of pressure, any gaps in the seal tend to produce a sound which in addition to the act is similar to that of a shopvac.
to aid in the facilitation of procuring large amounts of feces enemas may be preformed on the partner’s -n-s prior to start.
opinions differ on the proper disposal of said excrement after the process is complete. some enthusiasts simply ingest though this is not encouraged due to increased health risks. others attempt to force it back into their partner with mixed results depending on the consistency. still others get more creative, painting their partners, putting it in or around their own -n-s, mixing it with various other substances. or vomiting uncontrollably.
many of these fetishists are also very particular about what food they consume before the event. very popular is performing this act while in the midst of a regimented colon cleanse.
keanu reeves: man, tom cruise gave me a h-llva shop vac last night.

stephen hawking: i.bet.that.was.great.i.once.gave.a.shop.vac.to.muhammad ali.those.were.the.days.

reeves: it couldn’t have been as good as this though, i mean he sucked like a champ, it was loud as h-ll and then he vommed f-cking eveywhere, and we played in that huge pool of his puke and my poo all evening, wrestling, porking, kissing, loving -sigh-

hawking: ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.i.knew.he.was.a.f-g
when a girl is that big of a sl-t, shes sucking d-ck like a shop vac. or when you suspect a guy using a shop vac in order to fulfill his needs
whoa, shes a shopvac…..or…..hey shopvac, did it cut ur d-ck off last night?
a shopvac is a person who is exceptional at sucking, not sucking in a sense of being horrible, but sucking in a sense of sucking d-ck.
she’s the biggest shopvac around.