Shrek

see: love
see also: life
i watched shrek seven times today.

shrek
a large green ogre. with a donkey friend.
just watch the film, man.
a mythical deity noted for his insightful parables. shrek has been reported in numerous sightings throughout the world to appear to his faithful and shrekoncile their sins. those who disobey the will of shrek will often smell onions before meeting a horrific yet well-deserved demise at the hands of shrek. shrek is love, shrek is life.
“ogres are like layers.”
-shrek, “the parable of the onion”
our ogrelord and savior in this world and the next. he is rumored to have a 20 foot d-ck and his ogre c-m tastes like onions. he is married to the most shrexy woman ever, fiona, and can kill drek and farquaad with a single d-ck swipe. if you ever happen to wander along and end up in his swamp he will scream “this is muh swamp” because it is. if seen you must have an ogregy on the spot. if you’re reading this and you’re drek then you’re already ogre for.
f-g: hey dave! did you know shrek is drek?

dave: you better check yourself before you shrek yourself!
someone who is so f-cking ugly, they can only be looked at in the dark.
holy sh-t, it’s daylight and shrek is heading this way, run for your f-cking lives.
b-tt-ugly english footballer wayne rooney a.k.a shrek. displayed his superior ball control at the 2006 world cup ie, stamping on some poor players b-lls
woa! wayne rooney can really dribble
yea! well most r-t-rds do! and he looks like shrek!
the name shrek is taken from the yiddish word שרעק (pr-nounced ‘shreck’) meaning ‘fear’, ‘terror’, or (in its closest sense) ‘fright’.
oy gevalt! groisser shrek…
a person with many layers like an onion or an ogre (hence the name shrek). their personality is convoluted, confusing and multi-faceted. to understand them, one would need to refer to a mental psychologist.

shreks are funny and make good conversationalists. they appear to be overly confident (just a defense mechanism), believe that no one truly knows them (again, just a self-preservation technique), smoke too much shisha, and make great reliable friends.

they are very creative but need to learn to admit when they lose arguments to others. they don’t know how to give compliments and drive like a maniac but overall have a heart of gold!
can you speak clearly and stop being such a shrek? just saying…

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