situational lesbian


a straight woman who uses the old “i’m a lesbian” line to put off an undesirable (at least in her eyes) guy who is h-tting on her. actually, she wouldn’t munch the carpet if her life depended on it, but she figures it’s better to give a phony excuse to the bozo than to tell him the truth and have it turn out he’s a heavily-armed psychopath.
ben: uh, hey jen, would you like to go to the movies with me tomorrow night?
jen: sorry, ben. i guess you didn’t know i’m gay. but thanks anyway! (walks quickly ot the other side of the room.)
len: who was that creep? want me to smash his face in for you?
jen: no, he’s okay. i just told him i’m a dike and his b-n-r went all soft.
len: wow, you’re a real situational lesbian, aren’t you? wanna let me f-ck your brains out? whoa, looks like i’m too late!

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