skeet machine

a machine that skeets a person, a macine that causes a person to -j-c-l-t-. why does a person need a skeet machine? the answer is simple: the averaage person spends $1000 a year in ho, or prost-tute fees ($5000 in navada and $10,000 in the city of las vegas), the purpose of the skeet machine is to eliminate these huge costs. the skeet machine costing only 250 dollars will pay for itself in only 3 months. how does it work?: unlike the old skeet machines that used a high speed kneeding and vibrating action, the skeet machine 9000 sends mild electrical impulses to the brain, p-n-s, and b-lls that work together to create over 100 skeets per minute or (spm) improving on the old skeet machines by 200% and improving on the ho by almost 1500%. how does it feel? here are some testimonials: “it’s…i mean yea- yea-, it’s- oh yea” “i love it… i mean look i’ve been able to fill up three soda bottles just today” “i haven’t left ma house in days i just sit in my house all day and all night skeeting, i lost ma job, i cant pay ma rent i being evicted tomarow- but i dont care- thanks skeet machine” great features: skeet hose so you can skeet all over yer b-tch (though why would you need one), a skeet straw so you can drink yer skeet, and three extra large skeet collector bottles so you can “save the skeet”. warranty: comes with a 10,000 skeet full refund waranty.
oh no, i have to skeet but i dont have a ho or hands- but wait i have a skeet machine :).

ho: these d-mn skeet machines are putting me out of biuseness.