Skinny Bitch Syndrome
suffered mainly by females and gay stereotypes. a disease shared by all of the female characters in desperate housewives, grey’s anatomy and bones, just to mention some. in real life, a patient with sbs rarely reach the age of forty, as the people around them tend to kill them off. the symptoms include:
– nagging about teir tragic lovelives
– manipulating other women’s husbands in order to feed their own insatiable need for approval
– blackmailing other women in order to be the queen of the hill
– living on a diet consisting of mainly nothing, diet c-ke and some artsy-farsty coffee drink. it never fails.
– being b-tchy
– being generally hysterical
– being a blast at parties by b-tching and say things like “i don’t eat sugar/snacks/filth like that” into the host/hostess’ face
– control issues. oh, man.
– excessive visible-bone flaunting
– competing at everything and to everyone
– staring bug-eyed at someone w the nerve to eat a twizzler or bear claw in their presence
– considering people over size of 00 to be subhuman
– the most common topics of conversation would be ramblings like these: “the baby, my lovelife, my life is complicated, i want to wait” and blah blah blah.
if you want to heal an sbs-patient in your circle, there is only one cure. you need a pair of boxing mitts, a cattle prod and some elbow grease. you do the math.
in fiction: (this is the digest, people. in real life the display of sbs is much more understated and takes time to discover)
sbs-patient (a glamorous fbi-agent, lawyer, surgeon) to a male model-like colleague: “you’re smart, i’m pretty. i want your sperm because i can’t have a baby with someone whose not as perfect as me. its selfish not to have a baby. my baby’s gonna be a doctor, no matter what. and beautiful. or else i’ll just not give a dang about it. but i can’t be in a relationship with you because my life is too complicated. of course.”
narrator out of nowhere: this, folks, is a cl-ssic display of skinny b-tch syndrome!
in real life:
hostess: how was the souffle, guys?
other friends: absolutely scrumptious!
sbs-friend: “i really couldn’t say. i’m on a diet.” -looks smugly down on her untouched dessert-
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