Skittle Gangster
a type of skier/snowboarder frequently found in terrain parks of ski resorts wearing ridiculously bright-colored clothes. first made popular by overbearing mothers wanting their children to be as visible as a 10′ circus clown in a pack of midget mimes while skiing, skittle gangsters adopted the look as their own to distinguish their pseudo-skills as top shredders on the mountain. skittle gangsters are rarely found alone, often traveling in packs, so as not to be singled out for how absurd they look by everyone else on the mountain.
skittle gangsters also possess their own, unique language, existing as permutations of english words applied to actions that have no relation to their original meanings. for instance, the term “roast beef,” traditionally defined as a cut of beef suitable for roasting, now describes the action of bending over, putting your hands between your legs, and screaming like a perturbed child while soaring through the air. unfortunately for skittle gangsters, they do not realize that they are the only ones who think they are stylish with their neon attire and nonsensical dialect while the rest of society watches in amus-m-nt.
is it just me, or is that skittle gangster probably the biggest tool on the mountain right now?
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