slow as a hard shit
slower than sh-t.
a seemingly never ending period of extreme discomfort or boredom.
as opposed to a period of time that is simply extensive, “slow as a hard sh-t,” embodies those agonizingly long stays on the loo, white knuckled on the handicapped bar, when you walk away bow legged and with broken blood vessels in the eyes.
citizen 2: hey cit-1, you see that movie online last night?
citizen 1: nah man… my connection was slow as a hard sh-t. the movie would only load a few percent at a time… i know all too well how long those endeavors take!
stoner 3: dude maan…. holy sh-t.. 2, you see 1 takin’ this bong rip man?
stoner 2: he’s slow as a hard sh-t, but d-mn mann… this sh-t is historical.
stoner 1: ::smiles lazily and slumps back in his chair, with his rumbling stomach being the only sign of life::
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