Snot Splatter
this happens when you have a severe cold or nasal infection. your last tissue has disintegrated, your handkerchief is a congealed lump, which should be incinerated to avoid it becoming a hazard to public health, and your nose is blocking up. there is nothing for it but to blow your nose the old-fashioned way. this consists in closing each nostril in turn, with a finger, and snorting vigorously out through the other. the product of this exercise is a snot splatter. although snot may be a misnomer as the product is usually a mixture of snot, pus and airborne detritus that makes the faecal emissions of a diseased crow’s -rs- seem positively pleasant in comparison.
it can also be used as a noun to describe the sort of person whose presence makes people instinctively shrink away from them, leave the room as quickly as possible to go through a complete biological decontamination routine.
i snorted out a really noxious snot splatter yesterday; i watched it for a bit to see if it moved, i think it did.
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