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1.irritating old people who come down to florida from northern states, drive like maniacs, and should be illegal.
2.disgustin gold people from northern states who wear speedos on our beaches. g-d help us all.
why don’t we have a snowbird huntin g season?
a seasonal infestation of yankees (as well as midwesterners and canadians) in sunny warm states in the south such as florida (and also out west in arizona). a snowbird is an elderly yankee that migrates down to the south to winter when their natural habitat of new york, ohio, or michigan is too cold for them. their migration begins in early september and lasts until april.

you can spot a snowbird by it’s white or graying hair color (or sometimes light blue or orange form a dye job gone bad), it’s pastel colored clothes, use of sweaters, socks in sandals or white tennis shoes, dark colored over sized sun gl-sses, and of course it’s irritating yankee accent. they tend to drive over sized gas guzzling cars such as lincolns and cadillac’s because they are retired and have the money to spend.

typically known to drive well under the normal speed in traffic, (about 35 mph below and in the p-ssing lane) and pr-ne to rubbernecking therefore making places such as florida the traffic accident capital of the us. other than making driving conditions terrible for native floridians and other southerners, snowbirds also infest restaurants, post offices, stores, doctor’s office’s by the droves making it next to impossible to get it during the winter months. they in turn complain about how crowed it is and how they have to wait in line.

even though tourist traps love snowbirds because of the revenue they bring, most people who are native to the states the snowbirds visit hate them with a p-ssion and wish they’d go home.

those d-mn snowbirds caused another backup on i-75 this morning.
mostly old people from up north who flock to florida every winter just to clog up roads with way too many people, adding horrible driving to the already ghastly driving of most floridians. they also make it impossible to spend less than 45 min. in wal-mart. while the locals are wearing 5 different layers during the 2 weeks of winter, those -ssholes are walking around in shorts commenting on how very warm it is. on occasion some of the younger ones bring down some killer kine bud. they also call soda, pop.
i was going to go to the store to buy some munchies, but there were too many snowbirds around. is that snowbird crazy wearing shorts, it’s like 70 degrees outside?!
the biggest pieces of sh-t in the entire f-cking world. old people who make every restaraunt in the whole state of florida crowded from 2-10 p.m. all snowbirds migrate south for the winter so their rich -sses don’t have to deal with snow. they take their entire godd-mn families and drive down the middle of the road at .000000000000000000000001 miles per hour, and are known for causing crashes at this intense speed. although, the younger snowbirds have been known to push 5 mph at times. all snowbirds are stubborn, rich, and have absolutley no idea how to drive a car.
person 1: hey person 2, want to go get something to eat?
perosn 2: we can’t, it’s f-cking snowbird season!
person 1: let’s go crash their million dollar cars so maybe they will leave!
person 2: great idea!
person 1: yeah, snowbirds suck -ss!
a northern american that migrates to florida during the months of october through april.

an elderly person who drives 1×10^25 too slow, and drives a huge, polluting suv covered in war veteran stickers. and when they drive, their heads tend to disappear.

someone who complains about the locals just because their lives are now obsolete and meaningless.

someone who donates unfathomable amounts of money to funds that don’t really need it (btw…thx).
if it’s snowbird season…why can’t we shoot ’em?
any old or wealthy person who migrates to florida for the cold winter months. these individuals are notorious for bad driving, an undeserved sense of superiority and lack of fashion sense.
“now it takes me 20 minutes longer to get to work in the morning because all these d-mn snow birds are clogging up the roads with their sh-tty driving”

elderly folk who escape from their cold native habitats to the warm and dry desert of arizona from november-april every year. while local shopkeepers, innkeepers, and other employees of the service industry may tell them that their dollar is welcome, every native son and daughter of the desert prays for the day the temperature gets above 90 degrees. that is the point that people from the regions known as the midwest, canada, and the east coast board their land barges, manufactured by companies such as buick, lincoln, and winnebago and begin their trek back to the colder lands.

while the locals will tell the snowbirds that they are welcome, the are truly nothing more than intruders and interlopers in our fair desert home. they make up for 1/2 of the traffic during their season, yet they find every loophole to keep their vehicles registered out of state, thus forcing the locals to pay for all the damage that they cause to the road. they carry an arrogant att-tude that says “i’m spending my money here, treat me like royalty.”

snowbirds would be considered little more than a harmless nuisance if it were not for the fact that they are allowed to drive here in arizona. local drivers here in arizona (the ones with arizona tags) are scientifically proven to be the most hopelessly stupid people ever to sit behind a steering wheel. unfortunately, add lost drivers with slowing revlexes, poor vision, and vehicles the size of small apartments and there is little reason as to why car insurance is so high out here.

spotting tips: look for cheap diner-style resturaunts such as villiage inn or denny’s which serve food that can be afforded on a so called “fixed income” (whatever that is). the snowbirds can typically be spotted here. when approaching these parking lots, give the snowbirds a wide berth, as they will often perform a fifty-two point turn to get into their sp-ce. their average time (this has been clocked) in successfully backing out of a sp-ce is typically four minutes and twenty three seconds, so if you are in a hurry, steer clear.
1. i went to the supermarket to get a gallon of milk today, but it took me six hours because the snowbirds in front of me argued over the expiration dates of their uncut coupons. they then proceeded to pay for their groceries with a check.

2. the snowbird paid for his $14 pizza delivery with unrolled change and did not tip the driver.

3. the snowbird did not see the light turn green, and sat still for the entirety of the light, despite the mile-long line of cars honking at her.