song of hiawatha
an indian chant you grunt while dropping a huge, unhuman deuce. you have to grunt it with an indian accent, a tone of an old man, and make it sound painful. it goes, “hiiiiii-a-watha…. watha-watha….”
my mom asked why i was chanting the indian boys name she studied in elementary school while i was in the bathroom. i explained to her its the song of hiawatha. i then asked her to check the sink for a fresh, steaming hiawatha. she never looked at hiawatha the same again, and we now are in family therapy because i cr-pped an un human steaming dump in the sink and refused to clean it.
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