spaz test
there are two (2) ways of testing someone to see if they are a spaz.
1. while the subject is completely unaware of you being about to test their spazzocity, take a candy wrapper (a w-lly wonka shockerz™ candy wrapper worked well for me) and put it on the side of their neck from behind. if the candy wrapper stays on the subject’s neck by their reflexes squishing the candy wrapper between their neck and their shoulder for more than five (5) seconds, they are legally a spaz as declared by the u.s. supreme court of the spazes united vs. the mariam webster’s oxford dictionary verdict of 2003.
2) put a pencil on the unsuspecting subject’s neck, and if the suject keeps the pencil between his neck and their shoulder in a similar way to the first way, he/she is a spaz.
ian: when matthew took the spaz test, he tested positive by a 10 second margin! -sticks candy wrapper on matthew’s shoulder-
matthew -15 seconds later the candy wrapper falls off-: phewph! that candy wrapper almost killed me!
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