spider

scary -ss creatures. o_o
that spider is h-lla creepy.
a little creature that causes people to drive their cars into a ditch.
i was driving my mom’s car yesterday and a spider crawled up on my shoulder, and after i swatted it away, i went into the ditch.
one of evolution’s greatest success stories. there are spiders all over the world, and the oldest known fossil spider is 380 million years old. spiders are eight-legged and carnivorous, use silk in a variety of ways depending on the species. many spin cobwebs to catch prey, larger spiders line the edge of their burrows with web. the bolas spider is named because it throws a line of web ending in a sticky lump to catch prey. spiders inspire fear and revulsion, quite undeserved, but probably not helped by years of movies telling us spiders are humanity’s enemies. schools are not much more helpful. i still remember a science teacher telling us a black widow was the size of a human hand, which is rubbish. there are some dangerously venomous spiders, like widow spiders, funnelweb spiders, brown recluse spiders and brazilian wandering spiders, but they are a tiny minority of the huge number of spiders in the world. just to drag some widely-held beliefs into the light of reality:
1: spiders are not watching you. most, apart from some jumping spiders, have very poor eyesight.
2: spiders do not come out of plug-holes. a spider in the bath has fallen down there and can’t get out due to the bath’s slippery sides.
3: large hairy spiders are not automatically dangerous. in fact n-body has ever died from a tarantula bite.
4: women are not automatically scared of spiders. in fact most of the calls the british tarantula society gets regarding fear of spiders are from worried men.
hysterical person: help! i saw a spider! i’m not going to bed! it might be there waiting for me!
other person: what makes you think any self-respecting spiders would want to get into your bed?
1. predatory arachnid that usually has silk-spinning organs at the back end of the body; they spin silk to make coc–ns for eggs or traps for prey
2. a computer program that prowls the internet looking for publicly accessible resources that can be added to a database; the database can then be searched with a search engine
3. a skillet made of cast iron
1: noun- extremely frightening members of the arachnid family, spiders can be found all over the world. these creatures are eight-legged and carnivorous and most often use silk/webbing to ensnare and bind their prey. venom is then injected into the incapacitated victim, which pretty much liquefies its insides so that the spider can drink it. yum.

some of them just do some creepy attack sh-t, though… with, like… jumping and strength and evil.

some spider venom is harmful to humans as well as insects.

and while spiders are found in almost every corner of the globe, it seems that they are all conspiring to scare me individually.

i’m pretty sure at this point that they exist to make me cry.

2: verb- when there is only one swing set on a playground but two individuals wish to swing at the same time, they may choose to spider. one of them, usually the larger, sits forward (normally) on the seat of the swing, and the other straddles that person, facing towards them.
1: spiders scare the living f-ck out of me. fear of spiders is known as arachnophobia, and can make you extremely paranoid in more intense cases.

2: in sixth grade, alicia and betty decided to swing while they were waiting for the bus to come. there was only one, so they spidered. while the two girls giggled together, alicia proceeded to laugh so hard that she p-ssed on betty’s shirt. needless to say, the two aren’t friends anymore.
creepy crawly gross things that are simply there to scare the h-ll out of you and jump out of those piles of cr-p in your room.
however, they are also very pretty when held behind inch-thick gl-ss in zoos.
the spider is sitting; lurking in the dark until such time it can come out and sit on the girls finger before she notices.
a spider, aka arachnid, is an eight-legged creature of doom. humans eat eight of them a year in their sleep. matt bellamy has stated his wish that gravity on earth were less so that they would all die. then again, he also said we were derived from them. not the most reliable source.
“oh my god, it’s a spider! run!”
“chill out – oh sh-t, nevermind, let’s haul -ss.”

←