Spruce Grove

this is the sh-ttest “city” known to man. they set up a little carnival in the safeway parking lot every year that no one even knows about, it has two rides and a lemonade stand. this city is full of e-tards and stoners. also full of wannabe “scene/emo” kids that like cutting themselves and smoking drugs. the spruce composite high school is full of f-ck faces and useless t-ts that fail in life, also full of sl-ts that have one night stands and get pregnant. congrats spruce grove, you’ve made a good impression on your citizens of the city. atta be champ. oh, and their little, tiny and cr-ppy mall consisting of a food stand and five clothing stores that only sell my grandmothers clothing, job well done. oh yes, and children.. the tri leisure center has dead bodies at the bottom of the deep end. stay away.
guy #1 : hey what did you do with that dead body?

guy #2 : threw it in the deep end of the pool at the tri in spruce grove.

guy #1 : place is dead anyways.

_____

guy #1 : i’m going to spruce grove tomorrow, wanna come?

guy #2 : sure , let me just head done to my meth lab so we can make money while visiting the emo children.
a cr-p hole of a town. filled with tons of trailer parks and convicted rapists. 20 minutes away from alberta’s capital edmonton, it’s only claim to fame is the “tri leisure centre”, which was set up to prevent the already growing population from getting any larger. it’s once-a-year fun time is a cr-ppy little carnival set up in the parking lot of the safeway. town attractions include the bountiful supply of meth addicts and the always accessible ecstasy, weed, and beer for minors. also memorable due to it’s sh-tty gymnastics club, aerial’s, which is so old that they can’t even afford to heat it properly because it’s not worth it, and whose owners want to spend a whopping 6 million dollars of tax payers money to build a brand new building, just for them. also cluttered with some really stunning schools; woodhaven, a school for the academically challenged, greystone, known for it overwhelming record of drug busts, and let’s not forget the beloved spruce grove composite high school, which is so old that nearly everyone in town is terrified that it’s going to collapse on any given day, so torn up and wrecked that no one likes going to school there, and even the teachers hate it. even better, some of the school policies include an insanely strict dress code, and a rule that there are absolutely no cell-phones allowed.
1. “let’s go check out that school, what was it called again?” “that’s spruce grove composite high school, careful, all the students are drunk” -wasted student walks out in front of car “told you so.”
2. “this town is so quaint, let’s stop and…” “no. someone will be trying to sell you drugs within seconds.”
3. “let’s go hang out at my place.” “aww, do we have to go help your brother cook his meth again?”