St Thomas, Ontario

st thomas, ontario is a city in southwestern ontario (in elgin county) and an urban division of london ontario. population is just over 35 000 (technically considered rural) and 95.5% of the population is white. the current mayor is cliff barwick. he runs st thomas, ontario.
st thomas is known for: rachel mcadams (attended central elgin collegiate inst-tute (go t-tans)), joe thornton, helen shaver and aaron wapole.
st thomas is also very well known for being the railway capital of canada and for the fact that jumbo the elephant was murdered here.
other factors we are proud of:
-we have the higest teen pregnancy rate in canada
-drugs sales is our second largest industry (next to factory work)
-we have the psych hospital on the outskirts of town
-fights in our wonderful bars such as legends
-the ineffectiveness of the police force:
only 38% of people who commit murder in st thomas are ever convicted, the motto? “well the perp’s not here so we dont know who did it.”
case in point: the shedden murders- 7 people murdered by biker gang
-the wellington road murder where each member of a family was shot at gunpoint by a shotgun and then the bodies were burned, as was the house. case never solved.
st thomas is easily the roughest city in all of canada and if you weren’t born here or haven’t lived here for a long time then don’t come here, you can’t handle it.
and if you are ever caught out on talbot street alone at night…well b-tch you’d better be carrying protection cause you will get f-cked up.
people from st thomas are noteably hard-ss, dangerous and crazy m-th-rs and if you know anyone from here you had best be on thier goodside, cause they will f-ck you up. notable people to watch out for:
any of the elders, jeremy porter, dave hatch, c-ssidy north, dubbie berryt, kaelyn barnes, dirty gertie, jeff wilkins, and virtually anyone from parkside.
john: yo that b-tch is from st thomas, ontario, you better watch your back ’cause she will f-ck you up, burry you in her backyard and get away with it.
st. thomas, ontario is notably a great turmoil for southern ontario. most people who are born there are not going to go far in life as most of those people will never leave the town. it is a blackhole in which most do not surface. drugs overthrow the town and most of the filth that walk the streets are oxyheads. besides those few are the wh-r-s who get pregnant at 15. meaning most of the females if you can call them that. no one is big and tough and none should be feared. little white boys trying to be gangster is the ‘it’ thing. parkside sucks -ss, yes, yes it does. don’t deny it. just like every other highschool in st. thomas. none are better than any other. st. thomas is filled with no-daddy aisles and we even have our very own ghetto, how trendy is that! the streets are becoming bare as jobs are diminished and stores go out of business. you can smoke joints walking down the street and p-ssers-by will sniff and be on their way. everyone does it here just some people will go to far and end up with needles in their arms and a date with the morg.
all in all; st. thomas is a sh-thole and the people there are all sh-theads.
except me, of course. i’m getting the f-ck out of here, peace f-ckas.
the crackhead in your cellar: hey mannnn, got any iceee. -shakeshake- st. thomas, ontario is always packing, show me your stash.