Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster
the most manly dude in the f-cking universe, when he gets drunk he doesn’t just get drunk, not a little tipsy. not drunk to the state of rudeness. he wipes a week out of his memory. out-drinks everyone around him, makes an -rs- of himself, forgets where he lives, pees against a wall, sits on a bench for a little while, remembers where he lives, p-sses out in bed fully clothed and then gets the f-ck back out there the next day and does it all again. then spends a week of his life recovering from that day.
that guy who got shot by an barrette .50 cal sniper 17 times then got hit by a buss and walked it off, fought mike tyson and chuck liddell with one foot. he can use the following reply in any situation “i’m staff sgt. max fightmaster f-cking deal with it”
he shaves his pubic hair with a f-cking lawnmower, and his beard is so big homeless people hide there in the winter. f-ck satnav he reads real maps.
he is still alive to this very day, there is a real guy with this name, were not allowed to reveal details but you should be fully aware that he is doing something truly f-cking awesome…
dude: staff sgt. max fightmaster
other dude: did you say steroids?
dude 2: so how did sgt. max fightmaster play rugby?
other dude 2: he abandoned all pretences and entered the pitch fully naked covered in lubricant dancing violently to powerful techno
dude 3:holy sh-t is that sgt. max fightmaster
other dude 3: yeah you can tell because he smells of marmite and sweat and heavy death metal,
he never ate a vegetable in his life because he says vegetable’s make you weak and r-t-rded and steroids and vodka are the sh-t.
Read Also:
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- Stall sucker
a slue who gets off by giving raunchy bj’s in dirty public restrooms. chase: “how was the stall suck?” said:” it was alright. she has mad tile burn though!” chase:”stall suckers rock!”