stalker calendar
a makeshift calendar kept in your head so there’s no evidence; used to stalk someone you’re obsessed with. it is compiled mainly from readily available information made public on social networking sites, and through eavesdropping, lurking, gossip, and rumor.
jill: you know brit’s gonna be at the party next week, right?
jack: oh, for sure. had that sh-t marked on my stalker calendar for weeks.
jill: i have a crush on your friend john…
jack: want me to have him add you as a friend?
jill: no, it’s cool…i always know what he’s doing. he rsvps to events, says where he’s at in his status, and we have enough mutual friends for me to start a decent stalker calendar.
jill to jane: wanna meet at starb’s tuesday?
jane: yeah, like 8:00?
jack (lurking ten feet away) to self: sweet!
jill: funny how we keep showing up at the same spots!
jack: isn’t it?
jack to self: thank you, stalker calendar!
Read Also:
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where the tee-tah (breasties) are trying to breast feed nothing… so the woman may squeeze out b–by milk and it just happens in a cold temperature and freezes as pointy icesicles that her infant, or husband, or dog may want to lick. woah aunt truitee! your dog sure likes your br–stsicle!
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