Stanek’s Disease
a very rare, serious, and extremely contagious std caused by coming in contact with the genitalia(s) of someone already infected.
symptoms of the disease include a hunched back due to the spinal cord being replaced by a flaccid p-n-s, and a protrusion that looks similar to an adam’s apple, but is actually a p-n-s growing in the throat.
if the infected person touches themselves on another part of their body after touching their infected genitalia, that part therefore becomes infected, causing a new p-n-s to grow. serious reported cases include a number of p-n-ses ranging from 3-5 on the infected person’s body.
size varies due to the amount of contact made to the infected area. p-n-s growth/size can range from 1 inch wonders to 13 inches in the largest reported case.
the only cure for stanek’s disease is to have all of the p-n-ses surgically removed, but the disease cannot be fully eradicated. removing the p-n-ses can sometimes cause 2 more to grow back in their place.
stanek’s disease is a rapidly spreading epidemic. please, if you think you may be infected, contact a doctor immediately.
person 1: dude, i heard that girl over there has stanek’s disease.
person 2: sh-t, man, i don’t want another d-ck!”
person 1: let’s get the f-ck outta here!”
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