Staten Island Wanna-be Guido

beware this special brand of staten island boy – he is unique in his lack of uniqueness. he wasn’t “cool” enough to be accepted by the other staten island boys due to the fact that he’s probably fat and has acne that like, stares you in the face when you encounter him. he overcompensates for everything he lacks in self confidence by guising himself in “panache” and n-bility. oft he feels he has no purpose so he goes for a civil service job, such as firefighter, emt, or cop. it’s his only means of attaining power, and he has the option to make it look like he actually cares about people when the truth is he only cares about his fat pimply self

he has s-x with anything and everyone (see sl-t, roast beef curtains, and staten island girl)because he has a complex about not being able to be alone, ever, and being a h-rny b-st-rd who craves gratification.

he has the staten island accent that makes you want to scream and run in circles with an ultimate goal of sticking your head under the ground, or scream running towards his acne mounds with a pickaxe.
elizabeth: wow, look at that staten island wanna-be guido! he makes me sick; he’s going to die alone with some sort of std.

maria: oh f-ck yeah. he’s getting the clap, i just know it.

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kathy: that’s my partner at work. truth is i can’t stand him.

kim: why?

kathy: he’s such a staten island wanna-be guido; he’s ugly but he’s got a superiority complex up his -ss.

kim: ooh! shh, his girlfriend is coming. whoa, is that a face?

kathy: oh, you mean his f-ck buddy? yeah, well, that unfortunate thing right around where her nose should be is called a face. he doesn’t care, he’ll stick his d-ck in anything he can persuade.