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steel reserve is an intoxicationg liquid customarily found in 22 oz cans and in the value-packed 40 oz gl-ss bottles. now, normally i’d be compelled to use the word “beer”, but that’s not going to cut the mustard. this is a high gravity lager. that’s what they say. after drinking this, you’ll feel like someone increased the earth’s gravity field by 70%. don’t get me wrong, it’s hands down the best bang for your drinking dollar… but you’ll probably get arrested if you drink more than a forty ouncer. so be careful! i have hallucinated and time travelled under the influence of steel reserve.
after i drank a couple of forties of steel reserve i felt brave enough to fight a cop! and the cop felt brave enough to taser me till i sh-t my pants.
steel reserve is a low-quality, low-prestige, low-dignity malt beverage. purchasing steel reserve is often an act of desperation by would-be drinkers in times of economic hardship. aside from drinking cleaning solvents, steel reserve is perhaps the cheapest possible way to exit this reality. its combination of astonishingly low price and extraordinarily high alcohol content has made it popular among both b-ms and young people.

once only available in the darkest corners of the hood, steel reserve can now be found in supermarkets, liquor stores, and lying sideways next to unconscious transients all across america. although notably foul tasting, this is a drink that will take you where you want to go (quickly and cheaply). at $.99 a tallboy, i find it possible to get drunk on the amount of change found under the couch, without even having to look in my car’s ashtray.

the steel reserve logo is a stylized number 211, which aside from being an ancient symbol for steel, is also the penal code # for armed robbery. it’s likely that steel reserve has been the inspiration for many a convenience store jacking. poor judgment and personal injury are notoriously correlated with the consumption of steel reserve. the drink’s harsh flavor effectively masks the high alcohol content, leaving the drinker confused as to how much he has actually consumed. even experienced drinkers get into trouble when partying with the 2-1-1.

dude1: “man, you look like sh-t, what happened to your face?”
dude2: “i hit up the steel reserve last night.”
dude1: “ah” -nods in understanding- (as if no further explanation is needed)
moonshine in a can blackout after a 12pack is guaranteed

211 on the cans should be replaced by 911
i drank the steel reserve and wound up getting head on the side of the road with a fatty mcnasty girl
steel reserve is a high-gravity, low-expense alcoholic lager beverage which comes in three forms: the 6-pack of 12 oz. cans, the 24 oz. can and the black label 24 oz. can, which packs a whalloping 8.1% alc/vol. it is also referred to by nominal social circles in the southeast as a stiff henry, for reasons unknown. steel reserve is a homely brew with a refreshing taste and high chugability factor. it also tastes splendid in combination with a cigarette. one can only speculate that it is costing the industry millions of dollars in deficit to market a 24 oz. can for a measly 99 cents. theoretically, a homeless derelict of legal age can scrounge up enough money to purchase a can of steel reserve and get stinking drunk, presuming he did not first surrender his funds to a fast-food restaurant dollar menu. additionally, steel reserve is probably the only drink which promotes viking mythology.
possible dialogue:
b-m: “you’re kidding me. i get all of that for a buck?”
sales clerk: “it’s no joke, sir.”
b-m: “so lemme get this right – i get a great taste and a low price?”
sales clerk: “you can’t drink that in the store, sir.”
b-m: “my, my… you don’t see these in the dumpster everyday.”
sales clerk: “i’m going to have to call security.”
steel reserve, cl-ssified as a “high gravity lager” .also known as simply “two eleven” most commonly has a alcohol content of 8.1 percent. comes in silver and black cans, bottles are presently being fazed out. a b-st-rd version of less than 5 percent exists in the state of utah, though only sold for the technicality of it all due to the mormons.

depending on a persons alcoholic tolerance, the following applies to a typical experience with the 211.

1st tall can. major buzz starting to unfold after the last sip.

2nd tall can, walking becomes a challenge

3rd tall can. lost ability to walk, now focused on crawling.

4th tall can, all of a persons ability to think to himself is lost and all subconscious and conscious thoughts are effectively excommunicated out the mouth. .

5th tall can, very rarely has every been attempted. if one utters a barely recognizable sentence it is considered the equivalent of obtaining a phd at berkley.

6th tall can, the only way to experience the 6th is in the afterlife after your blood becomes 100% alcohol.
“i just had three tall cans of the steel reserve and i’m freakin gone man”
steel reserve is an adjectival noun describing the feeling induced by or causing the imbibement of steel reserve high gravity 40oz. malt liqour. the drunkedness is a particular heavy one, the type which leads to you thinking it’d be funny to let your girlfriend in on that half-joke you have in your head about how you’ve always wanted to do her fat friend just “out of curiosity” also the desire to achieve this state. generally not giving a f-ck.
i’ve been stuffing envelopes all day and my girlfriend was seen smoking weed with her ex. i’m feeling pretty steel reserve.

or oh i’m so steel reserve right now, i’m about to dance on the table.
f-cked up in a can.
i drank two 40oz steel reserves and i was so f-cked up i tried to eat asphalt for dinner, on purpose, with a fork.

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