stephie
a stephie is a mammal with short hair that crawls around on all fours most of the time, but has the ability to walk upright for brief moments until it runs into a tree or other debris. they were first discovered in the mountains of eastern pennsylvania. an average stephie’s mammary glands are suitable to feed a litter of 12 easily. they are scavengers and depend on other wildlife around the area. the do have a distinct smell similar to raw sewage, mostly because stephies consume the waste of other animals in their surrounding environment.
guy 1 on hiking trip: “yo! check out that almost bald creature over there eating that pile of horse cr-p! what the heck is that thing?”
guy 2: “oh thats just a stephie. i wouldn’t go too close to that, they are thieves and they stink
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