Stevie Wondering
the act of looking hideously upward whilst swaying and grooving to an unknown orchestra in the sky.
stevie wondering has many practical applications such as:
-marking coordinates for a mortar strike
-signaling cargo vessels into port
-recieving interstellar radio transmissions
-controlled demolition of uninhabited buildings
-performing cesarian section procedures
-triggering lasers at pink floyd concerts
-adjusting spark timing on internal combustion engines
-tuning pianos
-cleaning skyscr-per windows
-navigating your way through a labyrinth
-telepathically commanding squirrels to do your dirty work
-triggering avalanches
-removing stains on leather upholstery
-measuring tire pressure
–n-lysing exhaust emissions
-causing the heads of clowns to spontaneously rupture
-instantly solving complex algebraic equations
-causing large bridges to oscillate at a specific resonant
frequency
-heating large vats of cooking oil quickly and painfully
-replacing lightbulbs on radio communications towers
-consulting with the rain?
-prepping automobiles for paint
-chiseling birthday cards into slates
-constructing m-ssive heated beaver dams for your family to live in
-steam distilling large amounts of drinking water
-pumping sludge from bas-m-nt sinkholes
-and above all, playing one h-ll of a piano groove
to move one’s head in order to gaze inquisitively at something while wearing sungl-sses.
what are you stevie wondering about?
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