strava wanker


usually male, uses the app strava, with obsession, to outdo his ‘friends’ and cycling companions on segments and trails. can be seen at the end of segments looking at his phone to check if he has knocked a second off his time or if he has beaten a ‘friend’. will chase past anyone shouting stravaaaaaaa extremely loudly and scaring the sh-t out of you, with the added bonus of knocking you off your bike.

the air will turn blue if anyone beats his time, friendships will be lost and marriages destroyed.

ultimate aim of a strava w-nker is to achieve a ‘kom’, king of the mountain! this is usually celebrated with joy, happiness and high fives, more fulfilling than the birth of his first born.
did you see that -rs-holes fly past on his bike, he’s such a strava w-nker!

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